Curing Anti-Football Girlfriend Syndrome – By Christopher Stout
Steelers Fever Exclusive Editorial
|Every year, like clockwork, football slowly begins to take over your life. Piles of lost Sundays (and/or Saturdays) start to take a toll on your schedule. Priorities and obligations get reshuffled, and the balancing act begins. Non-football related issues constantly get pushed to the backburner. The Steelers become your primary weekend concern.
There’s nothing wrong with that. Football is meant to be an absorbing recreational interest. It’s the ultimate team sport. It brings people together like nothing else. Strangely though, there are people out there that don’t fully appreciate the captivating qualities of football. These people are known as anti-football girlfriends.
Anti-football girlfriends can poison a pigskin party in under four seconds. All it takes is a sideways glance, and before you know it, you’re a man down. Your unsuspecting buddy had to split, because his fidgety girlfriend lacked a basic appreciation for the game. It happens all the time.
What is it about football that makes girlfriends so bitter? Is it all the lost time us men spend idle on the couch? Is it our constant skirting of weekend responsibilities? No, it isn’t any of these things. Anti-football girlfriends hate the game because they don’t get it. They don’t understand what the infatuation is all about. Girlfriends don’t understand that deep down, everyone really loves football. People who say they don’t like football just haven’t had their inherent football love activated yet.
So how to you transfer your love of the game to your lady? How to you trigger the latent football loving qualities that you know she possesses? The answer is simple: form a fantasy league, and sign her up.
Sounds stupid right? Watch what happens. Even if your woman says she hates football, she’ll be interested in the competition. Women love to compete against men in situations where men are supposed to have an advantage. This natural competitive-feminist desire will bring her to the table.
Once she starts playing, her interest will be triggered. Before you know it, she’ll be beating down everyone in your fantasy league. If you bring her in, she’ll want to win, and she’ll also fall in love with the game.
It might hurt your pride to lose to your sweetheart in your own fantasy league. And sure your boys are going to make fun of you, but in the long run, that’s a small price to pay for a season’s worth of domestic bliss.
And who knows, maybe your sweetheart will become so football-crazed, that she’ll want to experience an NFL game live and in person. She may even insist that you take her to see the Pittsburgh Steelers play the Oakland Raiders in Oakland on October 29. Then you’ll have to rent a car for the weekend and scour the Internet for last minute tickets. When you reach the point where your sweetheart is planning long distance football trips with you, then you’ve definitely cured the anti-football girlfriend syndrome.
Some women don’t need any prodding when it comes to loving football. These girls already know what’s up, and I salute them. If your lady is not one of these chosen few, then you have to find ways to make her take an interest in the game. Get her involved in a fantasy league and you’ll be scheduling romantic, last-minute Steelers-excursions before you know it.